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It’s Not You, It’s Me

I feel like I just went through a break up.

Not the “I’m better off” break up but the “It’s not you, it’s me” kind of break up.

We broke up with our house.

Well that’s what if felt like to us anyway. We bought our house 3 years prior and after a grueling renovation we felt like we had our forever house. A house full of precious memories such as being carried over the threshold after our wedding, two terrified new parents bringing home our first born, witnessing her first steps across the living room floor, and many more memories that made us love our house.

Our house photos used by our realtor, Heather Skender

So why did we break up with something we loved? Freedom.

We knew we wanted to spend more time as a family and less time working to pay for a house. We wanted the freedom to travel and let our daughter explore with us being her guide on the exciting adventure.

As much as I loved my house, I loved the idea of adventure more.

We put our house on the market and it went under contract the very next day. It was a 2 week closing and 30 days until the new owner took possession. It was a fast process.

Our car loaded up with stuff, stuff and more stuff.

We spent the last month of our year of prepping for this transition by selling, storing, and giving away almost  everything we owned. It was like a going out of business sale. Everything must go and it did.

This process was hard. It is difficult to let go, but at the same time it’s a weight lifted. It was good to purge all the clutter weighing us down and keeping us slave to a bigger space and longer work weeks because we “needed the storage” but it was a gut check to watch your memories being carried out the door and loaded on the back of a truck for a small price of what it meant to you.

After many shed tears, both happy and sad, we walked the now empty house and reminisced about good memories and said goodbye to our first home. We prayed together asking God to use our family and this new journey to make a difference in this world.

Pulling out of the driveway I remember convincing myself, just like a break up, that something better is out there for us. As much as it hurt I knew it was the right decision and God had a greater plan for our lives.

It wasn’t the house’s fault that caused this breakup, it was me. I had changed. I had changed into a woman who would give up a comfortable house so in return I could gain more home.

How is that possible? Our square footage went down, plummeted actually, but I gained freedom. Freedom to be present for first words, belly laughs, and new discoveries that our kids make everyday. Freedom to see this beautiful world God created for us to enjoy.

I never thought this could be possible. I mean who can afford to do something like this? The greater question for me was how can we afford not to? So we said goodbye to one chapter of our lives and started a new adventure. And as for the house, I hope it understands, it’s not you, its me.

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